Summary of Kafelnikov
Transcribed by thumbsup3@aol.com
Teaser
(We enter a pub to see DAN talking to a woman at the bar.)
DAN: The thing is, when you don't have much of a family life growing up...that's the wrong way of putting it...the things you need, that anyone needs. What happens it you become someone who relies on the love of three or four million total strangers watching you on television.
WOMAN: What happens when they go away?
DAN: Well, try to avoid that. (Takes a drink.)
WOMAN: (Chuckles) Okay.
(She turns to look at a man waiting against the back wall.)
DAN: Listen...
WOMAN: Ah, I gotta go.
DAN: Really?
WOMAN: Yeah, the guy I came with looks like he's ready to go.
DAN: (Offers his hand) I'm Dan Rydell, by the way.
WOMAN: (Shaking his hand) I know who you are.
DAN: Thanks.
WOMAN: Did I just give you a compliment?
DAN: I just assumed you did.
WOMAN: Abby Jacobs, and this is my card. You should call me, Dan.
DAN: Yeah?
WOMAN: (Nodding as she walks away.) Call me.
The camera circles around DAN as he turns to look over his shoulder. We cut to what may be his point of view and see CASEY and DANA sitting in a booth. DANA's working on a crossword puzzle.)
DANA: "Menlo Park monogram." Three letters.
CASEY: T-A-E.
DANA: Thank you. Uh, five letters, "kindergarten adhesive."
CASEY: Paste.
DANA: (impressed) Thank you.
CASEY: So what about this?
DANA: What?
CASEY: Right here. Right now.
DANA: What about it?
CASEY: Wouldn't this be considered a date?
DANA: No!
CASEY: Why?
DANA: Because you and I aren't allowed to date until you've dated other people for six months.
CASEY: Yeah, but those are just rules that you made up.
DANA: (going back to crossword) "Tabby's tempter."
CASEY: Catnip.
DANA: (Laughs) Thank you.
CASEY: My point is, that if an outside observer were to happen into this bar, a loner maybe, this guy saw us sitting here--
DANA: The loner.
CASEY: If this shivering loner were to look in this direction, he would assume the two of us are on a date.
DANA: He'd be wrong.
CASEY: (while taking a swig of his beer) Uh-uh. The loner's a fairly bright guy. He's known for his smarts.
DANA: Casey.
CASEY: Yes?
DANA: The longer you wait? The longer you wait. Know what I'm sayin'?
CASEY: Start dating other women?
DANA: Yes. (Back to crossword) "Yikes!" Ten letters.
(NATALIE and JEREMY walk in and sit with DANA and CASEY)
CASEY: What's the clue?
DANA: The clue is "Yikes!"
JEREMY: Good evening.
CASEY: Hi.
JEREMY: I am victorious.
NATALIE: He is.
CASEY: (To Dana) Jeepers Creepers.
DANA: Oh! Fits!
CASEY: Yes.
JEREMY: I am victorious and, well, basically that's all I have to say. I am victorious.
DANA: Excellent.
NATALIE: Jeremy fixed the KY thing.
JEREMY: Y2K.
DANA: Jeremy...
JEREMY: We're all set.
DANA: We're bringing in a professional. We're bringing in a Y2K manager.
JEREMY: No need to.
DANA: Jeremy–
JEREMY: We're all set.
DANA: Jeremy, the whole show runs on computers. Our entire organization runs on computers.
JEREMY: Yes.
DANA: What have you done?
JEREMY: I've done nothing less than face down the millennium and show it who's in charge.
(CASEY pats JEREMY on the back.)
DANA: Well, did you use a manual or something?
JEREMY: Dana, this is my area.
NATALIE: It's true.
DANA: You know, just 'cause you're a nerd doesn't mean–
JEREMY: We will run a test.
NATALIE: Listen to this.
DANA: What kind of test?
NATALIE: A KY test.
JEREMY: Y2K.
DANA: We don't have a lot of time–
JEREMY: A quick test. Tomorrow night at 6 I'll recalibrate the computers to believe that it is January 1, 2000. And you'll see that we're Y2K-compatible, and that I am facing the future as the servant of no master! And you'll also take back that "nerd" thing.
(DANA looks around the table.)
DANA: 6 o'clock tomorrow night?
JEREMY: Yes indeed.
DANA: Okay.
(JEREMY and NATALIE stand up.)
JEREMY: Natalie, shot and a beer!
NATALIE: Okay.
JEREMY: Or if they have Mountain Dew...
(NATALIE takes his hand as they walk away. DANA continues her crossword puzzle.)
DANA: "Give the slip." Five letters.
CASEY: Elude.
(DANA fills in the last word.)
DANA: I finished the crossword!
(CASEY nods as the waiter arrives with the check, which CASEY grabs as the scene fades to black.)
ACT ONE
(JEREMY excitedly walks through the newsroom.)
JEREMY: Here we go, folks! 6 o'clock! Anyone who wants to see this is more than welcome! There's plenty of room in there! Okay, wish me luck. Here I go.
(DAN and CASEY are standing behind the anchor desk.)
DAN: I talked to her all night.
CASEY: You talked to her for 20 minutes.
DAN: It was quite a while.
KIM: Guys! Let's sit down and get started.
(As DAN and CASEY sit, CASEY's chair sinks all the way to the ground, leaving only CASEY's head visible above the desk. DAN laughs.)
CASEY: This Y2K thing's serious, man.
DANA: What's the thing next to Dan?
NATALIE: It's the top of Casey's head.
DANA: (Laughs and walks out to studio.) Can we get him a new chair please? (Laughing).
CHRIS: Standby one through five.
WILL: Standby five.
DAVE: Sports Night set, ready one. We are live in 30 seconds.
DANA: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
DAVE: What?
DANA: I just want to make sure that's not actually true.
NATALIE: No.
DANA: So there's no way we're broadcasting this preposterous exercise?
NATALIE: No.
ELLIOT: We're just simulating this preposterous exercise.
JEREMY: LET'S DO IT, BABY!
DANA: You weren't just talking to me, right?
JEREMY: No, I was just saying in general.
DANA: Dave?
(Over DAVE's shoulder we see the opening titles for "Sports Night.")
DAVE: VTR is rolling. 10 seconds live.
CHRIS: Loading effects 3, 4 and 5A.
DAVE: In 3...2....
(We see DAN and CASEY on set through the monitor, both of them dressed in casual shirts.)
DAN: Good evening. From New York City, I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall. Those stories plus, Luciano Pavoratti shocks the track work by running the 100 meters in six seconds. My mother hits for the cycle. And Martina Hingas sings selections from "No, No, Nonette."
CASEY: You're watching Sports Night on CSC, so stick around.
DAVE: We're out.
KIM: Two minutes back.
DANA: So far, so good.
JEREMY: I'd say a little better than good, Dana. Chyrons, over-the-shoulder, animation, sound, cameras, communications! And what's this? The LC wire being updated on my PowerBook. Sandbags on the levee, some plywood on the windows, a little thing called human endeavor.
DANA: Are you almost finished?
JEREMY: I'm just saying we have nothing to fear.
DANA: And I'm just saying you must have gotten beaten up a lot in high school.
JEREMY: Yeah.
DAN: She has a name.
CASEY: The girl at the bar?
DAN: The girl at the bar has a name.
CASEY: What is it?
DAN: Abby.
CASEY: Nice.
DAN: (Nods.) So we can stop calling her "the girl in the bar." She's not like a girl who hangs out in bars. Like a bar girl.
CASEY: I like girls who hang out at bars.
DAN: Me too.
DAVE: 30 seconds back.
DAN: She liked me.
CASEY: I like you too.
DAN: We talked for quite a while.
CASEY: Yeah, and then she went home with another guy.
DAN: The guy she came with?
CASEY: Yes.
DAN: She was with that guy. That was the she came with, you know, and then there was me.
CASEY: Then there was you.
DAN: There was.
CASEY: Okay.
DAVE: In 3...2....
(As CASEY is about to start talking, someone walks right between him and the camera. CASEY gives him a puzzled look, prompting laughter from the crew.)
CASEY: Zamfir, master of the pan flute, was 26-for-32 in passing...
DAVE: Cue graphics.
CHRIS: Graphics are up.
JEREMY: Graphics are up, my good friends! As sure as the sun sets in the West, as sure as there will always be an England, the graphics are up!
DANA: Natalie.
NATALIE: Yeah?
DANA: Way too much sugar for him lately.
NATALIE: I know.
CASEY: For more on that, we take you to our ship's purser, Gopher Smith, who's standing by on the Leeto deck. Gopher?
KIM: 1:20 back.
DAN: She gave me this. (Hands CASEY Abby's card.)
CASEY: Her card?
DAN: The digits.
CASEY: So she's a shrink.
DAN: Really?
CASEY: Yeah, she's a head-shrinker.
DAN: Where does it say that?
CASEY: Says so on her card. "PSY.D" - Doctor of Psychology.
DAN: (Impressed.) Wow, she's a doctor!
CASEY: Of psychology.
DAN: A doctor!
CASEY: In the area of mental health.
DAN: Hmm.
CASEY: Have you called her yet?
DAN: Yes.
CASEY: To make an appointment?
DAN: I called her to make a date.
CASEY: You sure?
DAN: Yes. I'm very sure.
CASEY: Yeah, if you're sure, I'm sure.
DAN: She was a girl in a bar.
CASEY: A therapist.
DAN: By vocation.
DAVE: In 3...2....
CASEY: Thank you, Gopher. We're just getting started here on "Dan and Casey's Dance Fever." We're gonna take a commercial break, so stay with us.
DAVE; We're out.
KIM: 90 seconds back.
DAN: It's a date, Casey. It's not an appointment.
CASEY: Where is it?
DAN: The date?
CASEY: Yeah.
DAN: Her office.
CASEY: (Smiling). Okay.
DAN: I'm sure she understood that meant I'm picking her up at her office.
CASEY: I'm sure. What time?
DAN: Seven.....fifty.
CASEY: (Laughs). 7:50?
DAN: When she's done with her last appointment!
CASEY: Sounds to me like she might have one more on her schedule. (Pause.) Hey, don't you work at 7:50?
DAN: No.
CASEY: I work at 7:50.
DAN: That's why I don't have to.
CASEY: Danny...
DAN: I'll be gone for an hour.
CASEY: Oh, I understand.
DAN: You do not understand.
(CASEY nods in mock seriousness.)
DAVE: Standby animation.
WILL: Standby sound 22, 23 and 23A.
CHRIS: Loading effects 12.
JEREMY: You guys mind if I do the honors?
WILL: What's he want?
NATALIE: He wants to push the button.
JEREMY: Yeah!
DAVE: Sure. (Gestures to the control panel)
JEREMY: At the press of this button, the Y2K problem will officially cry "Uncle!" and I'll say, "Yeah? Who's your daddy? I am! That's right! Say it: "Jeremy's your daddy!" Then–
DANA: Jeremy...
JEREMY: Here we go.
DAVE: In 3...2...
(JEREMY pushes the button, causing all of the monitors to go to static and a test-pattern tone to sound.)
JEREMY: Hah.
DANA: Yes.
(The crew looks blankly at the monitors. JEREMY looks panicked and runs his hand through his hair.)
JEREMY: Hah.
DANA: Yes. Will?
WILL: I've got nothin'.
DANA: Chris?
CHRIS: I've got no sound in the studio or on the router.
DANA: Kim?
KIM: My control panel just crashed.
DANA: Okay. Well, I'm just gonna run to the ATM, pick up some bottled water and canned goods and I'll be right back.
JEREMY: Hey, hey! This is nothing. I need to reaccess the mainframe and reboot the system.
DANA: How long will that take?
JEREMY: No time.
DANA: You understand that, you know, in real life we're doing a show at 11:00.
JEREMY: That's in four-and-a-half hours. I'll be done fixing this in five minutes.
DANA: Five minutes, everybody.
(Everyone exits the control panel except JEREMY, who's looking desperately at his computer screen.)
JEREMY: (Speaking softly to his computer) C'mon. I'm your daddy. C'mon.
(The camera circles around to show JEREMY and his computer screen against the backdrop of the static-filled monitors as we fade to black.)
ACT TWO
(CASEY and DAN are walking through the newsroom to their office.)
DAN: I do not need therapy.
CASEY: Okay.
DAN: You think that's what she thinks?
CASEY: No.
DAN: If that's what she thinks, she's wrong.
CASEY: Okay.
DAN: Don't you think she's wrong if she thinks that?
CASEY: Listen, McMurphy, if it were up to me I'd let you and the big Indian out of the hospital, but–
DAN: Hey, let's just hold on to our horses here. I may not be a framed picture of mental health, but Doctor Girl's got another thing coming if she think I'm gonna go lie on her couch and, you know, talk to her.
CASEY: Okay.
DAN: She hangs out in bars, Casey. Like I'm supposed to take advice from some gin-soaked floozy?
CASEY: Yeah.
DAN: I'm gonna straighten this out.
CASEY: When?
DAN: 7:50.
CASEY: At her office?
DAN: Yes, indeed.
(NATALIE walks in to the office.)
NATALIE: Casey.
DAN: Natalie.
NATALIE: Yeah?
DAN: I'm not crazy.
NATALIE: Yeah, right. (To Casey) You need to cut 20 seconds from the PAC 10.
CASEY: No problem.
NATALIE: Also, you should know that Sam Donovan called from Detroit last night and said it was a good show.
CASEY: Great.
DAN: Wait...
NATALIE: What?
DAN: Are you just telling Casey that it was a good show?
NATALIE: He's telling all of us it was a good show.
DAN: But you were telling Casey.
NATALIE: I was telling both of you.
DAN: You were looking at Casey.
NATALIE: I was looking at both of you.
DAN: You were looking at Casey longer.
CASEY: This isn't going to make you any crazier, is it?
DAN: No.
NATALIE: Jeremy's got it just about fixed, so it'll just be–
(The power suddenly goes out throughout the newsroom, leaving everyone in the dark.)
DAN: I'm not crazy, right? The lights did just go out?
CASEY: Yeah.
(Cut to JEREMY in the control room as he feverishly flips through a manual lit by the flashlight he's holding. DANA walks in from the studio.)
DANA: Jeremy? Jeremy?
JEREMY: It's gonna be okay.
DANA: Is all the power out?
(JEREMY looks up at DANA and shines the flashlight right in her face.)
JEREMY: What do you mean?
DANA: Is...(waves the flashlight away from her eyes)...is all the power out?
JEREMY: No, of course not.
DANA: What'd we lose?
JEREMY: We lost the control room.
DANA: Yes.
JEREMY: And the studio.
DANA: Okay.
JEREMY: The newsroom and the offices. Editing, graphics, engineering, sound.
DANA: Is anything working?
JEREMY: No.
DANA: I thought you said we didn't lose all power.
JEREMY: I thought you meant in the whole city.
DANA: No.
JEREMY: Because the rest of the city's fine.
DANA: Yes. You'll have to end this test now.
JEREMY: Right.
DANA: You can try again another time, but you'll have to tell the computer that it's not January 1st.
JEREMY: Here's the thing.
DANA: No.
JEREMY: The thing is...
DANA: Please don't say it.;
JEREMY: I can't get the computers back.
DANA: (frustrated) You can't get the computers back.
JEREMY: No.
DANA: Why?
JEREMY: You see anything that runs on electricity working right now?
DANA: No.
JEREMY: Well?
DANA: You really think this is the best time to get snippy with me?
JEREMY: I'm trying.
DANA: Try harder.
JEREMY: I have to go see someone in Physical Resources. (JEREMY walks away from the counter)
DANA: Fine.
JEREMY: (off-camera) Be back in a minute.
DANA: Fine.
(We hear a sudden off-camera thud.)
JEREMY: I've walked into a door.
DANA: Yes.
(DANA leaves the control room and walks into the dark hallway.)
DANA: Natalie!
(NATALIE suddenly appears from the shadows.)
NATALIE: I'm right here!
(DANA jumps and screams.)
NATALIE: Hi.
DANA: You scared me.
NATALIE: Isn't this cool?
DANA: Hmm, lemme think. NO?!
NATALIE: Okay.
DANA: They have power upstairs?
NATALIE: Yes.
DANA: They have systems?
NATALIE: Yes.
DANA: Prep studio B.
NATALIE: Studio B's a hole.
DANA: Natalie...
NATALIE: It's small. It's water-damaged. It's slightly moldy.
DANA: I agree that ours is a much nicer studio. I guess the only problem is THAT WE CAN'T SEE IT!
NATALIE: I'll get things going upstairs.
DANA: Thank you. (NATALIE walks away as DANA addresses the newsroom.) Did everybody hear that? We're doing the show upstairs tonight.
(Silence.)
DANA: Is there even anybody here in this room right now?
(Slowly a group of people murmur "Yes," "Yeah" and "We're here.")
DANA: (weak laugh) Okay!
(DANA walks away as the scene fades. Transition to DAN in ABBY's waiting room, reading a copy of The New Yorker from her magazine rack. A woman comes out of ABBY's office.)
DAN: Hi.
WOMAN: What?
DAN: I said hi. I'm not here for an appointment. I'm just here socially.
WOMAN: Please don't talk to me!
DAN: Okay.
(The woman leaves. ABBY opens the door to her office.)
ABBY: Hey.
DAN: Hey.
ABBY: Come on in.
DAN: Sure.
(DAN follows ABBY into her office.)
DAN: Is she ok? (pointing toward the door)
ABBY: Who?
DAN: Her.
ABBY: She's fine.
DAN: She didn't look that good.
ABBY: She's fine.
DAN: Really?
ABBY: Yeah.
DAN: I mean, I don't want to question your professional opinion, but she looked a little...
ABBY: What?
DAN: Crazy.
ABBY: She's fine.
DAN: Good.
ABBY: So...
DAN: She's okay to be walking out on the street?
ABBY: Yes.
DAN: Okay. (They smile at each other.) So listen, you wanna hear something funny?
ABBY: Sure.
DAN: There was, among some of the people I work with, some confusion over whether you wanted me to call you for a date or whether you wanted me to call you for an appointment.
ABBY: Really?
DAN: Yeah.
ABBY: That is funny.
DAN: (laughing) Yes, it is.
ABBY: Have you ever been in therapy?
DAN: Me?
ABBY: Yeah.
DAN: No.
ABBY: Really?
DAN: Never felt the need.
ABBY: Okay.
DAN: What about you?
ABBY: Me?
DAN: Ever been in therapy?
ABBY: Still am.
DAN: Really?
ABBY: Yeah.
DAN: That's allowed?
ABBY: It's encouraged.
DAN: You're kidding.
ABBY: Why are you surprised?
DAN: 'Cause I'm j...well, I'm not...I...I just assumed that someone who needed a therapist would want someone with, you know, a full supply of marbles.
ABBY: Danny?
DAN: Yeah?
ABBY: I have roughly the same number of marbles as everyone else.
DAN: Sure.
ABBY: So do you.
DAN: I have, actually, an excess of marbles.
ABBY: I can tell. And you seem like a nice guy.
DAN: I am.
ABBY: Oh! You're a nice guy, and you're a smart guy.
DAN: Thank you.
ABBY: So why doesn't your father like you?
DAN: (Taken aback) What?
ABBY: I believe in cutting through the first six months and getting to the stuff.
DAN: Excuse me, are we on a date right now or are we having a session?
ABBY: Which did you want it to be?
DAN: A date.
ABBY: You sure?
DAN: Yes.
ABBY: Okay.
DAN: Why did you ask me about my father?
ABBY: Did you go to school to get good at what you do?
DAN: Yeah.
ABBY: Me too. How 'bout a quick dinner?
DAN: Hang on a second there, Sigmund. Why do you think my father doesn't like me?
ABBY: Why do YOU think your father doesn't like you?
DAN: No, I meant....wh-what do you observe about me that you think I--
ABBY: Don't worry about it.
DAN: (Pauses.) My father like me, Abby. She likes me just fine.
ABBY: She?
DAN: What?
ABBY: You said, "She likes me just fine."
DAN: No, I didn't.
ABBY: Okay.
DAN: I didn't.
ABBY: Let's get a hamburger.
DAN: Abby...
ABBY: Yeah?
DAN: Why did I say that?
ABBY: I don't know. (They stare at each other for a second.) Dan, it's been kind of a long day. Mind if we sit down?
DAN: No.
(ABBY sits on her couch while Dan leans back in a chair. The scene fades and we transition to CASEY writing at his desk in the light of two candles. DANA walks in.)
DANA: Aww, look at this. Bob Cratchet.
CASEY: This isn't funny.
DANA: You see me laughing?
CASEY: Hey, listen– (He leans back to pick something up.)
DANA: Don't move.
CASEY: (startled) What?
DANA: You look nice in the candlelight.
CASEY: (smiling sheepishly and posing with his elbow on this desk) Over here like this?
DANA: You were fine.
CASEY: No, I wanna go back the way I was.
DANA: Don't worry about it.
CASEY: (changing positions) Over here?
DANA: You know, (putting her hand on his shoulder) you can squeeze the life out of a moment like nobody I've ever met.
CASEY: Well, excuse me for wanting to get a ride.
DANA: I have no trouble excusing you for that.
CASEY: Thank you.
DANA: We're gonna move upstairs to studio B.
CASEY: Ugh! I'm not wild about studio B.
DANA: Why not?
CASEY: Because this studio is my home.
DANA: For tonight we'll make the other studio your home.
CASEY: It doesn't really work like that.
DANA: You bet it does.
CASEY: Dana...
DANA: Studio B, and start heading up.
(DAN walks in.)
DAN: Hey.
CASEY: Hey, where've you been?
DAN: I was cutting some new film.
DANA: For Oregon State?
DAN: Yeah. No, for Memphis.
DANA: Guys, studio B. Ten minutes.
CASEY: (Sighs.) How'd it go?
DAN: (Shortly) Good.
CASEY: Yeah?
DAN: Yeah. Lemme, uh, swap Memphis for NC State, okay?
CASEY: Fine.
DAN: I'm gonna go pull some tape.
CASEY: Danny, I...
DAN: Casey, I really just wanna...you know, it was no big deal. It was good.
CASEY: Good.
DAN: I'm gonna go pull some tape.
CASEY: Okay.
(DAN leaves the office as we cut to the control room, where CHRIS and WILL are trying to rewire the board while JEREMY watches.)
JEREMY: (Trying to show he knows what he's talking about) Um, the circuits here are all GFCI. My point being that there's probably no need to check for a ground fault in the ethernet bridge. But you know? Yes! Go ahead and do it anyway. I suppose I'm not really in a position to give advice. Except to say, is it possible that a spike in the slave-sync signal shorted out the bus?
(NATALIE walks in)
NATALIE: Honey?
JEREMY: Natalie! I think it's possible that spike in the slave-sync signal shorted the PCI bus so the DMA controller had an IRQ conflict.
NATALIE: Honey...
(DAVE walks in.)
JEREMY: Dave, isn't it possible that a spike in the slave-sync signal shorted the PCI bus?
DAVE: No.
JEREMY: (pounding his fist on the desk) Damn it!
(JEREMY turns his back to the group and pounds on the producers' desk.)
JEREMY: DAMN IT! DAMN IT!
NATALIE: Jeremy...
JEREMY: (Softer.) Damn it.
NATALIE; (To the group) Could you give us the room for a second?
WILL: Sure.
CHRIS: Yeah, sure. (Closes up the circuit panel.)
(WILL, CHRIS and DAVE leave.)
NATALIE: It's not a big deal.
JEREMY: It's not a big deal?
NATALIE: It's not!
JEREMY: Look around you!
NATALIE: You weren't here the first year. On the list of the top ten things we screwed up, knocking the power out with a Y2K test wouldn't have made the cut.
JEREMY: This is different.
NATALIE: Why?
JEREMY: 'Cause this is a metaphor.
NATALIE: For what?
JEREMY: For this! For this! For this new millennium which everyone seems to be looking forward to, and I'd like to be looking forward to, and why am I having trouble getting on board?
NATALIE: What bad thing do you think is gonna happen on January 1st?
JEREMY: Well, for one thing, all the power is gonna go out.
NATALIE: Yeah, but not in the whole city.
JEREMY: The day isn't over yet.
(DANA walks in.)
DANA: Guys, it's time to head upstairs.
NATALIE: Dana, tell Jeremy not to fear the new millennium.
DANA: (Emotionless) Don't fear the new millennium.
NATALIE: Do it better than that.
DANA: (Same tone) There's nothing to fear from the new millennium.
NATALIE: You see?
DANA: (To Jeremy) Though I suspect you'll be spending a good part of it looking for a job.
(CASEY walks in from the studio.)
CASEY: Are we going upstairs?
DANA: Yes.
NATALIE: (To Casey) Pep Jeremy up.
CASEY: Why?
NATALIE: He fears the new millennium.
CASEY: Me too.
NATALIE: Good job.
CASEY: (Pauses.) This century was my home.
JEREMY: Exactly!
CASEY: Men like Jeremy and me, we're 20th-century men.
DANA: Okay, can we go?
NATALIE: You really think things are going to be that different in the next millennium?
CASEY: (Looks at Dana) I think Dana and I still won't have gone on a first date yet, if that's what you're asking.
NATALIE: It was.
DANA: Let's go.
(ISAAC has suddenly appeared in the doorway.)
ISAAC: The next millennium will be spectacular. It will be. I'm managing editor of "Sports Night," and a hundred years ago, I wasn't allowed to vote. The future's just fine with me. And I have to say that I find it vaguely amusing that a computer that can calculate the quadratic equation in a nanosecond hits the panic button when it's asked to count up to 2000? (Chuckles.) I'll see you upstairs.
(ISAAC exits.)
JEREMY: Well, anyway. Sorry about this.
(DAVE pops his head in.)
DAVE: We gotta get up there.
NATALIE: Let's go.
DANA: Hang on.
CASEY: We gotta go.
DANA: Jeremy, which button did ya hit?
JEREMY: When?
DANA: When the lights went out.
JEREMY: Uh, video release.
DANA: Hmm.
JEREMY: Why?
DANA: You didn't.
JEREMY: Yes, I did.
DANA: No, you didn't.
JEREMY: I was looking right at the button.
DANA: Yes.
JEREMY: It said "video release."
DANA: Yes.
JEREMY: It was video release.
DANA: No. And I think this is interesting. This section of the board was rewired this morning.
JEREMY: It was?
DANA: Yes.
JEREMY: Why aren't the consoles relabeled?
DANA: As far as that's concerned, there's no question that there's a way to look at this where it's my fault.
JEREMY: What's another way to look at it?
DANA: There's no other way to look at it.
JEREMY: What button did I actually push?
DANA: Now this is where I think you're going to find some irony...
JEREMY: (Realizing) It was the panic button?!
DANA: Interestingly it was the panic button.
JEREMY: Dana!
DANA: Hey! I said I was sorry. It was heartfelt. I made an apology.
CASEY: No, you didn't.
DANA: Like I need to apologize with you people.
JEREMY: Hang on.
(JEREMY pushes a button that suddenly brings the power back on. All the monitors pop back to life, prompting cheers from the group.)
JEREMY: Ha-HA!!
DANA: Dave!
DAVE: Sound!
CHRIS: I've got sound!
DANA: Will?
WILL: We're online.
DANA: Let's go!
DAVE: Two minutes to VTR, three minutes live.
CASEY: My home. (He leaves for the studio.)
DANA: Jeremy, I'm honestly sorry.
JEREMY: There's no point in assigning blame.
ELLIOT: What happened?
JEREMY: It was Dana's fault!
DANA: Show me Denver.
JEREMY: (To his computer) I am reinvigorated! You may have won the battle, but there's a war still to be waged, my foe!
NATALIE: Honey? When you talk to the computers, you don't ever hear them talk back, do you?
JEREMY: (Laughing) No.
NATALIE: Good.
KIM: 90 seconds to VTR!
(Cut to the set, where CASEY is standing and having his make-up touched up by ALLISON as DAN sits silently in his chair.)
CASEY: The human mind, Allison. It won't be denied.
ALLISON: Good.
CASEY: It just won't.
ALLISON: Okay.
CASEY: You can try denying it, but it won't work. You know why?
ALLISON: 'Cause it's the human mind?
CASEY: Damn straight.
ALLISON: Can I go?
CASEY: Yes.
ALLISON: Okay.
(CASEY straightens the papers of his script, then looks at DAN, who is still sitting quietly.)
CASEY: You sure you don't wanna talk about anything?
DAN: Yeah.
CASEY: You gonna see her again?
DAN: Yeah.
CASEY: Good.
DAN: I think I may have some stuff going on.
CASEY: I know.
DAN: It's gonna be okay.
CASEY: I know.
DAN: Let's do a good show.
CASEY: Danny? The human mind will not be denied.
(DAN smiles as CASEY hops into his chair, which again sinks all the way to the floor. DAN just continues to smile.)
DAVE: Roll VTR.
(The scene fades to the Sports Night logo, over which we hear CASEY.)
CASEY: This is humiliating.
(We hear DAN laugh.)
END
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