Quotes from Cliff Gardner

Sam: "Show seems a little stiff tonight, don't you think?"
Dana: "Yes, I do."
Sam: "Maybe even stiffer than last night."
Dana: "I believe it is."
Sam: "You know why?"
Natalie: "'Cause you're freaking everyone out?"
Sam: "Could be."
Dave: "Standby 57 and 58."
Sam: "You know what I'd do if I were you?"
Dana: "Kill myself?"
Sam: "No, I'd whisper in their ear."
Dana: "I beg your pardon."
Sam: "The two of you. Whisper something in their ear."
Dana: "What are you talking about?"
Sam: "Men like the sound of a woman whispering in their ear. They get playful."
Dana: "Why don't we just get them a lap dance?"
Sam: "We don't have that kind of time, but I like your thinking."

Sam: "Donna seems pretty mad."
Casey: "Dana."
Sam: "Huh?"
Dan: "Her name's Dana, not Donna."
Sam: "Is that right?"
Casey: "Yes."
Sam: "Dana's a better name."
Casey: "I'm sure she appreciates that."

Natalie: "How did this happen? How did this Sam Donovan happen? Why are we getting network notes? How did this place turn into a morgue so fast?"
Dana: "We are in third place, Natalie. We are getting our asses kicked by ESPN and Fox."
Natalie: "Those guys have been around forever. We're three years old."
Dana: "We're still in third place."
Natalie: "Every show on this network's in third place. It's a third place network. It doesn't mean we weren't doing the show well."
Dana: "Isaac had a stroke."
Natalie: "I know that. So what?"
Dana: "So I'm doing the best I can."
Natalie: "No one's blaming you."
Dana: "Everyone's blaming me. And knowing me as you do, Natalie, I thought you might consider cutting me a little slack! Natalie, if this keeps up I've gotta... look seriously at some offers."
Natalie: "Really?"
Dana: "I can work anywhere I want. Who'd want to stay for this?"
Natalie: "Well, you're not leaving me here."
Dana: "No."
Natalie: "You're taking me with you, Dana."
Dana: "Of course."
Natalie: "I mean, I don't care if it's a station in Altuna, you're taking me with you."
Dana: "I'm taking you with me. I'm taking you."
Natalie: "Jeremy has to come too."
Dana: "Fine."
Natalie: "And you're not going to be happy unless Casey's there."
Dana: "Casey can come."
Natalie: "Casey needs Dan."
Dana: "I know."
Natalie: "Nobody's blaming you, Dana."

Jeremy: "We're in trouble."
Natalie: "I know."

Dana to Casey: "I want you to date other women. I don't want you to enjoy it."

Isaac: "JJ."
JJ: "Yeah."
Isaac: "I've never liked you."
JJ: "I know."
Isaac: "We're done."

Dana: "Dan and Casey are professional writers. They're not waiters in a restaurant. You can't tell them what you'd like and how you'd like it prepared."
JJ: "This show is bought and paid for by my network, Dana. That is exactly what I can do."
Dana: "I'll ask you again, please, let's have this meeting in my office."
JJ: "And I am telling you, we're past that."
Dana: "JJ, I was hoping this meeting would go differently. I was prepared to eat whatever I had to for Isaac's sake. And I asked the senior staff to do the same, which, by the way, is the only reason why Dan, Casey, Jeremy, Elliot, Chris, Will, and Dave haven't beaten the crap out of you guys by now. I've changed my mind. At this point you have two choices: fire me or shut the hell up!"

Sam: "I've looked over the notes you've been giving over the last year or so, and I have to say they exhibit an almost total lack of understanding of how to get the best from talented people."
Tasker: "Excuse me, but..."
Sam: "You said before that for whatever reason I seem to be able to exert some authority around here. I assure you, it's not 'cause they like me, it's 'cause they knew two minutes after I walked in the door I'm someone who knows how to do something. I can help. I can make glass tubes. That's what they need. One last thing. The first and last decision-making authority on this show will rest with Isaac Jaffee until Isaac Jaffee says otherwise, and if you disrespect him in my presence again, I will rededicate the rest of my life to ruining the rest of yours. You think I'm just mouthing at you? You should ask around about me. I have absolutely no conscious about these things."
JJ: "Sam, why did you bring us out here?"
Sam: "Because, there's the exit. That's it. The meeting's over."

Sam: "I don't have to like you, you don't have to like me. I have two priorities. The first is getting from the beginning of the day to the end of the day without having a drink. The second is raising this show's ratings to the point where it's no longer in danger of what almost happened here today. Trust me. I won't make fools out of you."

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