Quotes from April Is the Cruelest Month

Jeremy: I'll go write the pageant.
Dan: The pageant?
Jeremy: Well, there are sections of the haggadah that, quite frankly, could use a polish.
Dan: You're gonna do a rewrite on the haggadah?
Jeremy: It's not written in stone, Dan.
Dan: Actually, some of it is.

Kim: Who am I playing?
Jeremy: You're playing pharaoh's assistant Maggie.
Natalie: There's someone named Maggie in the haggadah?
Jeremy: There is now.

Jeremy: She wasn't a choreo-animator.
Natalie: What was she?
Jeremy: A porn star.
Natalie: Really?
Jeremy: She's made over eighty adult films, she's slept with, if possible, more men than you have. Jenny was a porn star, for both the boy and the man in me.

Natalie: You dated a porn star and never slept with her?
Jeremy: Yeah.
Natalie: What a goober.

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