Quotes from Eli's Coming

"It's been my experience that men buy better cake than women. I find that women tend to get these yogurt frosted low-cal things laced with a rum and fruit concoction making cake into something you do to be polite. So that's why I was asking what kind of cake you're planning on getting to celebrate Isaac's return from vacation." -Casey
"Wow. I didn't know that you felt so strongly about it. But now that I do, I guess the answer is: whatever cake I damn please." -Dana
"Excellent." -Casey

"Let me tell you something. I put nothing in my hair, I was born with this hair, and not enough people know that." -Dana

"Chocolate cake. Chocolate filled, chocolate frosted, chocolate cake. I'm just saying." -Casey

"There are days. Days that separate the men from the Men." -Casey
"The men from the men?" -Kim
"That's right." -Casey
"What does..." -Elliott
"The second 'men' was with a capital 'M.'" -Casey

"Hey, Rebecca, Steve Sisco, Bobbie Bernstein... you're gonna have quite a little day." -Casey

"My girlfriend's ex-husband was in her office on a Saturday, and I'm fine." -Dan
"Good." -Casey
"And I'm not saying 'I'm fine' in that dramatic way that's obviously meant to indicate that I'm not fine. That's not what I meant when I said 'I'm fine.'" -Dan
"What did you mean?" -Casey
"I meant I'm fine." -Dan
"Okay." -Casey
"I am." -Dan
"Excellent." -Casey
"Look at me." -Dan
"I am." -Casey
"Don't I look fine?" -Dan
"You look good." -Casey
"I do." -Dan
"You're a good looking man, Danny." -Casey
"Moreover, my girlfriend's in her office talking to her ex-husband, it's all happening on a Saturday, and guess what?" -Dan
"You're fine?" -Casey
"I'm fine." -Dan

"Maybe he stopped off." -Jeremy
"Where?" -Dana
"For a pretzel." -Jeremy
"I'm serious, he was supposed to..." -Dana
"The man's been in Europe for two weeks, he hasn't had a decent pretzel, maybe he stopped off and that's the cause for the delay." -Jeremy
"And how long does it take to buy a pretzel?" -Dana
"Well you've punctured a hole in my theory." -Jeremy

"And how's Rebecca's ankle?" -Dan
"I'm sorry?" -Bobbi
"Rick. O'Brian. How's Rick O'Brian's ankle?" -Dan

"You know I've done enough rotten things to women I like. There's no question I'm going straight to hell. I really don't need you padding the ballot box." -Dan

"You want me to make you a sandwich?" -Dan
"No thanks. In fact, I didn't even really want coffee." -Rebecca
"We have espresso and cappuccino." -Dan
"What I meant was..." -Rebecca
"And due to a budget surplus, I can now offer you latte." -Dan
"Dan." -Rebecca
"But it's gonna look and taste an awful lot like the espresso and the cappuccino." -Dan

"What're you nuts? Are you just some... nutty, nut-girl who's nuts? There's a difference between divorced and separated. One is divorced and the other is separated. That's why they have those names. I never imagined that in a building populated by me, you, Casey, Dana, Natalie and Jeremy, Bobbi Bernstein would turn out to be the sanest person here!" -Dan

"Dana, whatever we're gonna do, can we not do it in front of the help." -Casey

"I want so badly to rip his face off." -Dana

"Listen, there's something I forgot to tell you before." -Dan
"What?" -Rebecca
"If you want to work on repairing your marriage, I will, in whatever way you want, support that." -Dan
"Really?" -Rebecca
"Yeah." -Dan
"Really." -Rebecca
"Really." -Dan
"I think I'd rather not think about it anymore today." -Rebecca
"That's okay too." -Dan
"Thanks." -Rebecca
"He's such a bad guy, Rebecca. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but I know these things. I'm not that good myself." -Dan

"I should've called you. If my not calling you made you feel like any less that what you are... I'm sorry." -Dan

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